Grief is awful. Everyone says nice things about the deceased, they offer you words like “he had a good innings”, “a merciful release, really”, or “let us know if we can do anything”. The funeral happens.
And everyone goes away and carries on living their lives.
And yours stays stopped.
Yes, the well-known ‘grief curve’ does describe a lot of what we feel when we are bereaved…but, in the immortal words of Mr Eric Morecambe, not necessarily in the right order….
And your life stays stopped…sometimes for years. Every birthday, Christmas, anniversary, the wounds reopen. Every time you pass that restaurant you both loved, every time you hear a certain piece of music, and so very many people cannot understand why, after all these weeks, months, years, you haven’t ‘got over it’.
This callous ignorance is bad enough when the deceased was a member of your family. It’s even worse when it’s someone you loved who happened to be a dog, cat, rabbit, or other furry, scaled, or feathered friend.
It can be even worse when the deceased person, the someone you love dies…but their body exists without them: dementia. Alzheimer’s disease and vascular dementia is affecting more and more people, and their carers are becoming less and less supported either practically or in society’s estimation. They are taken for granted.
Hypnotherapy can help both sufferers and carers. Please ask around to find a practitioner who suits you (if you feel like it, you could even try me!).
The gentle approach to this dreadful disease is within your grasp. There is hope.
RUTH BARLOW, HYPNOTHERAPIST 